Garage sale goodies

A little Coupe car, a box with 50 little compartments housing 50 little cars (hotwheels), and 4 big trucks, an umbrella stroller and a car that you wind up with a key and it races... for $14.

It was pouring rain (and I mean pouring) so we did the drive-by garage sale-ing, so I'm sure we missed out on a ton of goodies (i was looking for a basketball hoop and a water/sand table) but I'm happy with what we got.

Of course the sun is out now....

Carson is taking a nap (when told it's nap time he says otay, takes two cars (one for each hand) and walks over to me with his arms up. I pick him up and he immediately puts his head on my shoulder) so he'll be ready for playtime when he gets up - we are heading over to Carrie and Rob's where he's staying for a sleepover!

Quick Quick

1 - Tonight I asked him to pick up his grapes off the floor and put them in the garbage. As he picked them up, he counted them. One. Two. Then he walked over and put them in the garbage. Oh. Actually, he put them on the wrong side so they ended up in the container that holds the empty garbage bags... close enough.

2 - That boy can spot a plane in the side smaller than the head of a needle. He'll point to the sky and say "plane, plane" and if I squint and look really hard I see a small grey plane wayyyyyyyyy up in the sky.

Brilliant, I say! (I say that as a mom who's not comparing him to anyone else, I just mean he's growing up and now he can say words, on purpose.. It's amazing.)

New words from the weekend

Ahh-Mor
Definition: the thing with wheels that makes lots of noise that the man next door pushes to cut his lawn. He said this over and over and over last night - even for Grammie and Auntie Erin!

Whee
Definition: The round parts of a car. I'm surprised he hadn't said this earlier, but yesterday morning he just started pointing to the wheels and saying whee

Wa
Definition: puddles, mooney's bay, the leftover rain on top of his picnic table outside. We didn't even teach him this, he just started saying this

Boa:
Definition: the things moving on water (or on TV when the weather network is on). Yesterday at the lake he kept looking at the boats and saying boa boa (I think this comes from his book with all different modes of transportation.

Goodness, we've had the best weekend!

In no particular order...

Carson trying to imitate my fish face:

Ethan and Carson deep in conversation:

Auntie Carrie getting some kisses from Carson:

Uncle Rob and Ethan teaching Carson how to blow dandelions:

Me and all my kiddies on my birthday:

Daddy and Carson at Julie and Tim's:

Carson made a new friend, Zach. The only two boys surrounded by girls bonded:

Daddy and Carson with their feet in the Mississippi Lake at Grandma's new trailer:

Carson's new word of the day

Or of yesterday I should say.

Geckle
Definition: the black spots on Mommy's shoulders, otherwise known as freckles.

Also, this morning I had the sweetest boy in the room come give me a card and say, Happy Day (just forgot the "birth" part)

I'm so lucky.

Ssshhhh

He went to bed so happy and slept through till this morning. Sure it was early, but he was so happy when he woke up he ran into my bedroom (Jeff got him up) and fell on the floor (three times) and laughed each time. It's amazing the mood he's in the past couple days even though he's running on much less sleep then he's used to.

Carrie was lined up to babysit tomorrow night (my birthday), but with these separation issues, I can't leave him alone with someone else especially at bedtime. So the three of us will go out for a yummy birthday dinner. The Keg is probably out of the picture (that's where I had wanted to go) and I don't think there's much at a thai restaurant for him to eat (especially because we like spicy dishes) so I'll try and think of a more kid friendly place to eat.

I also feel it worthy to mention that yesterday was the first day he let me know his bum was dirty. He kept saying bum bum bum. I didn't realize what he was saying until I went to change him, he said the same thing and I put two and two together. When he said it again, I said bum and he said otay.

His answer to everything is either NO or OTAY. Cracker means snack/food/ I'm hungry. I'm constantly amazed at how quickly he picks up words. Yesterday he was playing with his tractors that Grandma got him and he counted them. He said one, two. I wasn't sure if that was what I was hearing, but sure enough, I called Grandma and asked her what she taught him that day and she said they counted their tractors!

Last night I pulled out a toy he got for Christmas and it's had him occupied easily over an hour between last night and tonight. It's a small bin with a plastic top with shapes cut out. It came with 100 wooden block pieces in different shapes, that you put into the bin through the top, in the correct shape place. He loves it. And he's good at it. Every once in a while he asks for help, but for the majority he can do them all. He's brilliant. I'm not at all biased ;)

At least he stuck to the pattern....

Around 3:30 again last night it started. I went in 4 times to just "shush" him to sleep (he falls asleep if I just keep saying ssshhhh ssshhhhh) and he'd fall asleep within seconds. Then about 5 minutes later he'd wake up crying again. So once again I made my little bed on the floor and "slept" till 5:30.

For the first 15 months of his life we had a single bed in his room, specifically for this purpose (before we were parents we assumed there may be some nights we'd need to sleep in his room), and we didn't use it ONCE. We took it out to make room for some toys and a play area and only now he starts waking up.

We've just been spoiled. He was always a good sleeper, so I'm not used to having my sleep interrupted. He just is letting us know we thought we had it easy, and he couldn't let us get away with it.

I'm going to go back and read some of my sleeping books, google the crap out of separation anxiety and sleeping and see what is suggested. If I knew it was a 2 week phase, I'd just give up and sleep in his room when he woke up, but like I said yesterday I don't want him to get used to it and then NEED to have me there. Where are you magic 8 ball?

He just loves us

And doesn't want us to go away :)

The only time he seems to be having problems with now is going to sleep. And only at night, not at nap time. He needs one of us (it's been Jeff lately) in the room while he falls asleep. It only takes ten minutes, but it works. We tried going in every 5 minutes and reassuring him that we are just outside and if he is quiet and tries to sleep, we will come back in in 5 minutes. But he gets more and more hysterical. So, sitting with him till he falls asleep seems to be working well, and we don't mind doing it (again, Jeff doesn't mind), but we are just wary of him getting used to it and needing it. If it's just a phase, so be it, it's really not bad at all.

I say this while it's not what has been the witching hour yet. The pattern seems to be him waking up during the night every second night. Tonight is the second night, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I spend the whole night in my own bed.

Yikes!

Poor little boog is still having problems sleeping. Last night he cried every hour or so, finally at 4:30 I just went and slept on the floor until he woke up, about 5:45. I know I should have done the comebackevery5minute thing, but I was tired and not at all ready to deal with it. So I took the easy way out.

Today, we went to Kate's cottage (pictures to follow) so he slept the whole way up (about an hour) from 10:30-11:30, then we had a GREAT day and he slept on the way home from 4:45 till 5:15. We got home, he was pretty tired and cranky, we had a quick bite to eat, cleanup/brush teeth, bottle and then bed. He said bye bye and assumed the position, his eyes half open, and then.... 20 minutes later the screaming. Oh the screaming.

So Jeff, again, went up and stayed in the chair in his room until he fell asleep, after 25 minutes later. We're pretty sure it's separation anxiety, it kills me to think he's crying because he doesn't think I'll come back.

Update: He slept through the night, woke up crying at 6. I went in and he wouldn't even come to me right away, I had to talk him into it until he finally started smiling and laughing - then as normal, as soon as we come downstairs he's happy as ever.

Carson's friends

I just had to make sure I wrote this down. Peter, Jaeda and Justen came over for dinner tonight. Carson was pretty happy playing with the kids. He wasn't shy, he didn't hang onto me, he shared his golf clubs with Justen, and he kept saying Jae-da.

Then the two older kids wanted to go downstairs, and Carson went with them. I came downstairs to turn the TV on (Justen wanted a moo-ie) and Justen ran right over and sat on the couch. Then Carson went over, stood right at his feet and started talking jibberish. It's like he was trying to convince him to come play. Then Justen turned, patted the seat on the couch next to him and told him to come up. Carson climbed up, and sat beside him. Then Jaeda wanted to be in the picture too so she could make faces.

Carson lasted about 5ish minutes, there was not a scream, a yell or a yelp. He just came upstairs, and it happened to be his bed time so we went upstairs and two seconds later he was dreaming... probably about going to about Kate's cottage tomorrow.....

Ma pauvre petit chou chou

We're going through a little bit of a rough sleeping time right now. A couple nights ago, he woke up at 1am screaming. He was OK if one of us were in the room with him (and asleep on your shoulder in a few seconds if you picked him up) but as soon as he was alone he'd lose it. So what do I do? I sleep on the floor in his room. Every 20 mins or so he'd wake up and start to cry and if I let him know I was there, he'd go right back to sleep.

Last night, he went to bed fine (when I first put him down he snuggled right up in his normal position (on his stomach, hands under his tummy, bum in the air, feet crossed) and then about 10 minutes later started with the screaming. So I went up a couple times and, while never taking him out of the bed, convinced him to lie down and go to sleep. It finally worked. He slept through the night (although up an hour earlier than he normally wakes up, and with the lack of sleep from the night before I thought he would have slept in a little longer).

I just put him down for his nap and even though he said yes when asked "Are you tired" and "Do you want to go for a nap", I put him in his crib, he said bye bye and waved, put his head down, and then has been screaming on and off for the past 45 minutes. Jeff just went up to see if he could talk him into sleeping (and now it's quiet?) so we'll see.

I think one of our mistakes was trying to push his bedtime. Carson goes to bed at 6:30 and we tried keeping him up until after 7 so we could have some more time as a family together at night, but with these results? He'll be going to bed at 6:30 again. He didn't seem tired or unhappy at all when we kept him up, so we thought he'd be OK. I think we will try in smaller increments next time.

Also, I talked to my sister and she remembered the twins having a bit of a rough time around the 18 month mark too, so I looked it up online (ahhh the trusty internet) and some kids go through a separation anxiety period at this age. And I think that's exactly what it is. I know he's been extra close to me these past couple weeks, and if one of us leaves the room he'll start to cry or consistently ask for whatever parent is not in the room. (this doesn't happen at daycare, at all, thank goodness).

Jeff just came back down and said that he was just sitting up in his crib crying. Jeff talked to him calmy and quietly and told him it was time for a nap. He wasn't making a move to lie down, so Jeff just said I'm going to sit in the chair until you go to sleep. So Jeff sat in the chair, didn't look at Carson, and after about 2 minutes Carson laid down and was just playing with his car. Then after about 5 minutes, he was asleep an left the room. So it definitely seems like a separation anxiety thing. We'll just do what we can until he grows out of it, without running the risk of making it worse.

Anyways, I sometimes complain about living in the suburbs, but this was at the park behind our house last night. A local TV station (A-Channel) was there, it was packed with young families with young kids, and Carson had a ton of fun! In the pictures where you see him sticking out his lower lip, he's making a "sad" face. If you make that face at him, he'll touch your lip and say "happy" (thanks Grandma Susan for teaching him that!). His new words today? Jack (the boy next door) and flower (we were at Rona and he pointed at a daisy and said flower. Honestly, they are flying out of his mouth.

Like mother, like son...

I eat Raisin Bran for breakfast 90% of the time. Carson's morning treat is sitting on my lap (only on weekends) and sharing my cereal with me.

This morning after he had eaten a full piece of toast and a bowl of oatmeal (and after I left for work), he went to the pantry and was letting Jeff know (through a series of quasi words and whines of frusterations I'm sure) he wanted something. Jeff went through a bunch of things, trying to see what it was he wanted.

Sure enough, he found the Raisin Bran and wanted his own bowl. Just like his mommy!

There was a time

When I didn't love every minute of it. I had a bit of a rough-go for the first 13 days that Carson was born (my mother remembers the number of days accurately). My mom would see the look of dread in my face when the sun went down (at 4:30, it was December!) But it kept getting easier and now those days are completely overshadowed with the absolute love I have for him.

Am I embarassed of those times? No. Do I think I am not a good mother because I had those feelings? Not anymore.

Last night, friends of ours, who have a beautiful 12 day old baby boy stopped by (actually, we saw them out walking behind our house so told them to come around so we could meet the little guy). She's also going through what I went through. And, Carson was completely planned. I knew I wanted a baby more than anything in the world. This couple, happily married, got pregnant by accident, but were immediately overjoyed with their upcoming addition to the family. Now that he's here, and she's going through what I went through, she has the same thoughts as I did. Am I a bad mom because I don't have that instant love that you read about? I'm a horrible person because I don't completely love nursing. Is there anyway i can turn back time and be a childless couple again?

These moments, no matter how brief, really take a toll on your emotional well being. She also had a C-section, so on top of taking care of this completely dependant little gorgeus baby, you're dealing with recovering from major abdominal surgery. Getting out of bed is hard, getting up from a sitting position is hard.

Anyways, the whole point of this, is I felt good that I could her (and him) in the eyes and be competely honest about my experience. I could say I know what you're going through. And I could say with complete confidence that it goes away. And then you forget that you even felt that way. To not feel bad if other mothers talk about their instant love and how nursing is the best thing in the world. Even if it is to them, that's great for them, but not everyone is the same. In the end, we all do what's best for our children, and for us. A happy mother is the best way to have a happy child.

So rather than being shy or embarassed about how I felt as a new mom, I felt strong being able to tell them what I went through and how I came out shining on the other side. And that's what I find other mothers are best for. To talk to, to listen to, not try to compare, or judge, or show-off, but to be as supportive as we can be.

And this morning I got the sweetest email, telling me how good they both felt after talking to Jeff and I, how they felt that they weren't alone and already she's feeling better. That makes me feel wonderful!

A few more Mother's Day pictures....

Look at how big he is! Walking around by himself!

When did he grow up?

Honestly, every day it's something new.

Yesterday he carried his shoes in from the car. Instead of just throwing them on the ground, he put them beside my shoes on the shoe mat. One of his flipped over, and he turned it back right side up and put them side by side.

The words that come out of this kid's mouth, too! I got a Happy Mom Day on Sunday (of course, after prompting by his Dad). Any word I say he usually will repeat it - it doesn't always sound like the word, but he's trying and that's what counts. But almost every day he has a new word and not necessarily ones that I have taught him. We went for a walk around the block last night and he chattered non stop.

He's quite sure of what he wants to. And who he wants to do it. Mostly these days it's me. We went walking around the Tulip Festival on the weekend and at one point he would look back through the "window" of the stroller to make sure I was the one pushing him. Otherwise, he'd cry and say No. Mom.

My goodness, he amazes me every day.

A tad anxious

For Jeff to call and let me know how drop-off went this morning. We've been home with Carson for the past week and a half and today is his first day back to care.... keep your fingers crossed!

Update #1: In true Carson fashion, he was fine when Jeff dropped him off (although a tad shy with S)

Update #2: S just called, Carson woke up after his 2 hr nap and was crying. Lots. He cries as soon as she leaves the room. I think it's just him getting used to being at care again. It kills me to be here though, I want to leave and go pick him up! But that won't really help the situation, he has to get used to being there again. She was taking them to the park, that always makes him happy.

Update #3: When I walked in to pick him up, he was putting together a block puzzle (which he did, on his own!) and was in no rush to come to me. S said as soon as she suggested the park, Carson ran to the front step and sat down to get his shoes put on. He never cried again.

Happy Mother's Day

I'm having a wonderful day! Carson brought me a card in bed this morning, then after a quick breakfast we went to Grandma's to give her a lifejacket for her new kayak! Here is Isabelle wearing it.

So it's Mother's Day. I love that I'm celebrating this day as a mother. I'm proud to be a mom, I'm proud of what a wonderful, happy, precarious, generous, smart, playful and funny funny little boy my Carson is.

I love it

Life is back to normal. Carson is back to normal. Still a little on the mommy-suck kick, but that's the worst of it. And that, I can deal with.

Grammy left this morning and Carson already misses her. We went out for breakfast, had a 3 hour nap, went for a long drive, dinner, and a walk downtown Kemptville and in bed by 7:30.

We're trying to extend his bedtime to 7:30 to sleep if he takes longer naps. Jeff and I are planning on starting to commute together so I'd only be picking him up at 4:30 instead of 4. So, it would be fun to be spending more time awake at night with him. We'll see what happens...so far, so good!

I don't want to jinx anything

But Carson seems to be almost back to normal. You wouldn't have recognized him this past week. He was constantly screaming, clinging to my leg, not eating, not sleeping, just an overall monster. It was crazy! The other night, for the first time since he was born. I slept on the floor of his bedroom. Holding his hand through the rails of the crib. For an hour only, but still.

He had a 5 hour nap during the day. Well, not straight. Erin and I had left to do some groceries (and maybe a quick trip to Shoppers Drug Mart), Jeff went into work and so Grammy, Uncle Jan and Petra were at home. A couple hours after he went to bed he woke up crying. Then he went back to sleep. Next time he started crying and it was a bit more serious. So Grammy went up to get him. He cried when he saw that it wasn't me, and wouldn't put his arms up and wouldn't get out of the crib, so Grammy finally left the room and kept the door open. Carson fell back asleep. The next time he woke up, Uncle Jan went up to get him. Once again, he showed his disappointment by screaming. But Uncle Jan got him out of the crib. Once on the ground, Carson ran back to his crib and grabbed onto the rails and started shaking them so Uncle Jan put him back in his crib. He yelled for a bit and fell asleep. I laughed my butt off when I heard the story when I came home! He finally woke up around 5, so it was probably the off kilter sleep that ignited his drive to stay awake for 5 hours through the night. Jeff and I took turns and let me tell you, I am SO thankful I have a child who sleeps (normally), or else a) Jeff and I would probably be divorced (once we get tired, we get cranky and snappy) or b) Carson would be sold on ebay.

Yesterday, when I spent the day with my mom, Carson was an absolute joy - they went to the park, played with some other kids, went out for dinner, had a bath and was happy (well, until we gave him a new bottle and he threw it on the ground) and slept through the night. This morning he was a bit of a mommy-suck, but I went to meet my mom again and he got along just fine with Grammy and then tonight he ate so much and fell asleep after a 20 second cry. So it's getting there, and I couldn't be happier.

And... now he knows how to give the evil eye. I'm wearing a new necklace and he keeps grabbing it, quite roughly. So I take his hand and tell him "gentle". Well he looks at me, squints his eye and his lips get real tight. I wish I had a camera each time he did it. It's hilarious. He's a little sponge these days, I can get him to say any word I ask him to. Tonight's new word is turtle. He says it totally clear too. His new sand toy has a turtle on it so he said it about 30 times in a row tonight.

He also is quite the helper these days. It's amazing how quickly they understand things. We can ask him to get his shoes, his jacket, his toothbrush, certain cars, go to the fridge, sit at his table, almost anything we ask him to. He also loves helping me in the kitchen. Today after we shared a chocolate chip muffin I asked him to put the wrapper in the garbage. He went over, opened the door, put the wrapper in the garbage and then closed the door and said all done, with a huge smile on his face. I went over and looked and this is what I saw. I laughed and had to take a picture. The wrapper is sitting on the floor of the cupboard, not quite in the garbage. The other pictures are of Carson and Petra, aren't they freaking cute together? (I'm still trying to master the indoor pictures..... bear with me)

Bye Grandma Millie

And of course, Carson is sad because Great Grandma Millie went up to heaven. We know she's happy there and looking down on us, but it's still sad. She just loved her great grandchildren, she could sit and watch them for hours. It was her favourite thing to do. Carson won't remember her, and I wish I had taken more recent pictures of the two of them together, I just know she wants to be remembered the way she was when she was healthy and able to play with them...

We love you and will miss you so much Grandma.

Even though

I chose to show cute pictures from the weekend, I purposely didn't post the ones of Carson crying, screaming, kicking his legs and not wanting to be with anyone else but me. If I'm not there, then Jeff. It's insane. I think it's just too much at one time for a little boy. First pink eye, then a cough, cold, three teeth... and nothing besides the pink eye has gotten any better.

And it's super sucky when you have visitors and they see this insane cranky little boy, instead of the sweet adorable little boy that we know. They understand, of course, that he's going through alot and they are doing a great job at entertaining him and loving him, but if I'm around then it's all over (which is why I'm hiding downstairs while Grammy is looking at all the cars and planes with him). Auntie Erin is doing puppet shows, singing songs, making cars of out kleenex boxes and doing everything she can to get him to smile.

I brought him back to the dr's yesterday, hoping there was a reason for all this, but his chest sounds fine, his ears are clear, his mouth is good - it's just a cold Mom, stop worrying! I've been keeping up a vigorous schedule of Advil and Tylenol, he's shoving his hands into his mouth nonstop and just wailing in pain. His top left eyetooth has finally broken through (it's a sharp little bugger) and the other two are right below the skin. Painful little buggers.

And because I'm sick, I can't cuddle and snuggle my gorgeus little goddaughter, she's just precious and has the cutest little mohawk-perfect hair. I want to eat her. But I can't even touch her.

Snipets of the weekend so far....

Carson's still teething, still has a nasty cough/cold, is still attached to my side, not eating, but he loves being outside and has taken quite well to all the visitors. Hopefully tomorrow he will be even that much better.

The eyedrop-giving hasn't gotten much better, but now we just know it will be 30 seconds of screaming and then it will be all over. Only 3 more days of drops!

Getting there...

Today's a bit better than yesterday.


Last night, before I posted, at 6, I gave him a bath (he was in no shape to take a bath, but being all contagious and stuff I have to keep him clean). Minutes later (yes, his bath lasted a few short minutes) I put his PJs on, put his eyedrops in, picked him up from my bed and walked to the washroom and saw him in the mirror... and he was asleep. In like less than 30 seconds. Without his milk. I put him in his crib, and he woke up 13 hours later.


Carson's eye is way better (I put the drops in while he was sleeping... I had read that online, so your trick worked Christy!, then I put them in again today in the corner of his eye like Tarrah had read online, and was the same recommendation from Sal, our neighbour!), he still has a nasty cold and cough, still attached to me, but had some big laughs with Grandma this morning, we went for a walk to the grocery store, watched the garbage truck (he was totally mesmerized) and then went to sleep without a peep.


I got a new camera, yay!

Please enlighten me

On how to put eyedrops in a screaming, beside himself, can't calm down child? Because I would love to know.

How's this for preparation for sooncomingveryexcitedabout visitors? 3 eyeteeth coming in (which apparently are the most painful? who knows, what child who's teething can you tell how the degree of pain), conjunctivitis, a fever and a virus causing a nasty cough and cold.....

It just breaks my heart to see him. Today he wouldn't be out of my arms for longer then 30 seconds, except for his nap. I'm totally spent. I'm sick, I have a headache and I'm at my wit's end.