Jeff and I are opposites, that's why we work so well together. I am the romanticist (living often in my own dream land) and Jeff is the logical half. The whole time I was pregnant I was thinking about getting my little guy dressed in little outfits, celebrating birthdays etc... Jeff was thinking about the every day life. Now that we are parents, it's sunk in. We are responsible for this little guy for the next 18 years, and let me tell you, it's overwhelming.
The past few days I've been crying non-stop and just wanting to stay in bed and not talk or see anyone. It's brutal. If anyone asks me how I'm doing I burst into tears. I am completely overwhelmed, the only thing that consumes my thoughts are Carson and when he needs to eat next. I just feel like a milk machine and that's all I'm here for. It's hard. I never thought I would have these feelings, and sometimes I feel like it's wrong. But, I think (or at least I hope) that alot of new parents have these same feelings.
I have absoloutely no appetite, I've been drinking ensure to make sure I have at least something in my stomach. I get hot sweats, I am anxious and I'm just all around sad. And I'm never sad.
Sorry this is such a blah post, but just in case any new parents are reading this and maybe feeling the same way, you aren't the only one. Don't get me wrong, I look at Carson and my heart swells, I love him so much. I just am really struggling with all these other feelings. I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow just to be re-assured that I'm normal.
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5 comments:
Oh Christy. I am so sorry that you have the blahs. Keep the faith and good luck at the doctors.
Christy - so many of my friends who have gone through the early days of motherhood have described EXACTLY what you're feeling. It's totally normal.
Your body has gone through a lot physically. Your mind is going through a lot, and you're overcome with so many emotions. You're sleep-deprived. Everything that once felt "normal" now feels "foreign".
Rest assured that it's okay, and I'm sure your doctor will tell you the same. It's "new mother" syndrome, and in some time, you'll look back on it.
Please give me the same advice in a few weeks time!:-)
Christy - may i just tell you that you are not alone! when i had my son that happened to me at about day five. it was awful. i never cry and i just spent all day crying. I had a really hard time with breastfeeding which made it even worse. When i gave that up it seemed to get better. But make sure you are open and honest with your feelings to Jeff & your doctor so that if you continue to stay sad, there will be help.
hang in there.
maybe try and get out, just for a little bit. even if it's just for a walk. the temperatures are more mild so see what you can do. I feel for you. hang in there!
oh! My thoughts are with you... if you ever need to talk I'm just a email away.
Chin up, and hopefully the doc can assure its 100% normal. Though good for you for going to get it checked... always a good thing to keep an eye on.
Hi Christy,
I admire your courage to be open and honest about how you're feeling. I believe this is half the battle won and I'm sure as long as you stay honest about how you're feeling this will all pass. How could you not be overwhelmed with emotions look at this amazing little person you and your husband have created. What a wonderful gift from above! Congrats to you both, he is precious, too cute for words.
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