I have no doubt

That we made the right decision.

Yesterday we went to the nursery school and totally fell in love. I loved the owner, she was so bubbly, so nice, her love of kids was obvious and she so believes in their "school".

They have a fairly structured day

I think this will really help Carson get ready for school next year. Plus, this will allow him to get in the social environment so he doesn't lose those skills. You should see him at the park now, he goes up to kids to ask to play, he shares all his toys (his diggers and dump trucks, his favourites!) he talks to adults, he's not shy anymore, it's wonderful! And I think I owe alot of it to his caregiver. Plus, he will learn skills that will prepare him for the next year. There's a whole bunch of climbing structures, parachutes, kitchens, puppet stages, sinks etc...it's bright and colourful and just a really welcoming environment.

Also - there's a ridiculous waiting list for the daycare centre at the school (300 ppl on the list, only 25 spots) and a similar one for the before and after program at the nursery school. But if your child goes to the nursery school they are guaranteed a spot in the before and after program the next year. We wanted him in a centre rather than home daycare once school started so this is a huge bonus.

Another bonus? Because he's in the nursery school, we get a free membership to all the mommy and me classes that are available on the alternate days (alternate from nursery school mornings) where I can bring both Beckett and Carson. These classes are normally quite costly, so now we will be able to hang out with other mommies, kids and babies for free!

Jeff told our caregiver this morning that we would be pulling him out and she got sad. So did Jeff. I bawled once he came home. But like my oh so smart friend Kate said last night, I'm sad because it's a milestone. My baby is growing up and I'll have the same feelings with each milestone. I know we made the right decision sending him to nursery school now, just as I have no doubt we made the right decision when we originally found our caregiver and sent him there. I wouldn't change the way I did it - we even told her that when the time comes for Beckett to go to daycare we will contact her.

When i see her tonight I know I'll cry because we really did love her as a caregiver for Carson... but he's growing up and his needs are different now.

I have no idea what to do...

So, we are thinking of pulling Carson out of daycare and putting him into a nursery school three mornings a week (2.5 hours each). I think the nursery school will help him get ready for school - he starts next September (I KNOW!) as it is a more structured environment, with more kids, it mimics what school will be like. He's starting school early (he'll only be 3 when he starts) so I'd like to do whatever I can to help him get ready for that.

But, he LOVES his daycare. He loves his caregiver, he loves his friends. He loves going there. Lsat night during my 3am nursing I was riddled with fear. I imagined him having to leave his friends, I pictured him crying. What if he hates the nursery school and just wants to go back to daycare? How do I know what's right for him?

I know I'm probably making a bigger deal out of this then needs to be, but for some reason it's the thing I choose to stress about this month. I'm going to see the nursery school tomorrow and to talk to the people who run it. I figure for the month of September he will go one day a week and stay in daycare (we have to give 3 weeks notice anyways) and I'll see how he likes it. Then we'll move it up to 3 days and no more daycare if things go well.

If there is one word I can use to describe Carson, it's easygoing. It adapts to change so well, he takes anything that comes his way and comes out the other side smiling. I am sure he will do the same thing now, but what is a parent for if not to worry and think about every possible scenario for any little decision we have to make?

What do you think?

Do they look the same?

Carson is a lucky boy

My mom was having a sleepover with the twins, so she asked if she could have Carson as well. I have a brutal cold, Jeff was away for the night, so I smiled and said OK.

Then I cried all the way home thinking about what a wonderful, energetic, loving mother I have. You should see how her grandkids love her, I think grandma comes #1 in her children's families. You should see her in action - she takes them swimming, teaches them crazy things, she never runs out of energy. And I was worried about having two kids over night? She puts me to shame.

Anyways, this morning I talked to my mom and Carson. They spent the afternoon swimming. After supper with his cousins (where, Carson ate lettuce. His face showed complete and utter disgust, but he ate it) they went for a big walk around the neighbourhood which Carson LOVES to do because their is construction galore so he sees all his favourite machines. Then they went skinny dipping (well, except Grandma) for an hour and saw the stars and planes all lit up. Then they went to bed. Probably the latest Carson has ever been to bed, but I'm sure when I ask him, he will say it was worth it.

Amazed

I'm absolutely amazed at Carson's fearlessness in the pool. He's jumping off the side into the water all by himself. He's swimming all around, jumping onto the "boats" jumping off our knees and just an incredible little boy in the water.

I'm watching from a distance, I have a nasty cold and Grandma is in the pool with 3 of her 7 grandchildren having the time of their lives.

He just wants to party!

Beckett is simply too social. During the day he likes to be awake. He likes to see who's around, what's going on, likes to look out and about and apparently doesn't want to waste any time sleeping. At least he sleeps at night - well, between feeds he goes right back to bed, he just likes to eat alot.

Actually, that boy could nurse all day long. I'm not even exaggerating.

At this age Carson wouldn't be able to stay awake longer than an hour, and Beckett can go up to 8 hours without sleeping - it's craziness.

And, he loves to be on his mommy, so my house is rather disasterous these days as I'm not able to get much done while wearing my youngest son.

Usually I've been bringing him downstairs with me when I get up in the morning, but today I left him upstairs (in my bed, on his stomach, ssshhh don't tell the children's aid society!) and he's still sleeping an hour and a half later.

My best friend's mom told me once that sleep begets sleep. And it's true, the more he doesn't sleep, the more he doesn't sleep. And the more he sleeps? That's right, the more he sleeps!

He's filled out quite a bit (told you he likes to eat!) and has lost that newborn look (well, I think so at least). He's getting to be quite a handsome little devil. When I found out I was having another boy, my Auntie Korkie told me I had perfected the boy recipe with Carson so that's why I had to have another. And between you and me? I think I make pretty gorgeus little boys. See for yourself!

Singing up a storm

Carson has been singing lately. Alot. He repeats all the words in songs that are playing on the radio or on "his music".

And yesterday, thanks to his dad, he sang "I like that boom boom pow" the whole day. Just like his mommy - he loves his black eyed peas!!!

I need to show off

So you wanted pictures?

Yesterday Beckett and I spent the day with my mom, getting ready for her 8 day kayaking trip! Then I picked up Carson and Carrie came over with the twins and we played in the pool and had a BBQ. It's so much fun that Carson plays completely with the twins now and I don't have to run after him keeping an eye on him. He's just one of the kids now.

Here's mom with Carson. Carson insists on having a towel big enough to cover his toes when he gets out of the pool.
Grandma and Nono giving Beckett some loving.

Beckett contemplating life
Beckett watching his mobile
Just hanging out in the swing
My boys

I just want to eat him

Seriously. I could stare at Beckett every minute of every day. He's freaking adorable.

I love the fact that he goes from a dead pan serious face to a smile and then back to the serious face in a matter of seconds.

I love when he stretches when he wakes up or after he's done feeding, his hands go way up in the air and he lifts his chin up and sticks his bottom lip in. I just want to nibble on him.

I love how he lies down on Carson's pillow and listens so intently when I read Carson a good night story.

I love how he opens his mouth so wide when he's looking around at his surroundings, like he wants to taste the world.

I love how he grabs my hair.

I love how he loves his bath - the first few times he would scream the whole time and now he just sits there calmly and loves as I wash his body and hair.

I love how he smells.

I love how he still brings his legs up when he's lying on my chest.

I just adore that kid.

Summer weather

We finally were reminded that it was summer today. We spent the morning at the beach with Uncle Sean, ZiaNadia and Sofia and even had a picnic! Beckett slept and ate the whole time. It was getting harder and harder to find shade as the day wore on, so after lunch we headed home for nap time. After naps (well, Mommy had a nap, I think the boys tried to nap but weren't too successful) we headed back out to Grandma and Nono's pool (even though they weren't there) for some swimming and dinner.

Carson and Sofia in the water

Carson catching the ball!
Carson and Dad horsing around in the water

Sofia showing off her lack of a front tooth (she fell at the playground and lost her front tooth last week!)
Eating some lunch

The title says it all

I really and truly am loving every minute of it.

Beckett is such a sweet little baby. I know it's only been two weeks, but if this is any indication of his personality, then we do have a Carson number two. He sleeps, he eats, when he's awake he's just looking around at all of us, he's great sleeping at night too (most often only wakes up twice to feed and then goes right back to bed). He's starting to like his baths more (except he doesn't like so much to get out). He's fussy right before bedtime, where he has this heart wrenching cry (in between wails it's like he has asthma and he wheezes), but then after he has a bite to eat he drifts off into dream land.

And Carson. Well even as I think about him my eyes well up with tears. He's SUCH a good little boy. He loves his little brother so much. He asks about him first thing when he wakes up. When we are out walking or at the park, anyone who comes within talking distance Carson tells them about his little brother. If Beckett starts to cry Carson runs to his side, pats him and says "it's ok Beckett, mommy is coming". His face gets full of worry is Beckett isn't happy.

I've taken the boys out places on my own and it's not even close to what I was picturing. I was wondering how to handle it all. But it's really easy when you have two good little boys like I do.

We booked our trip to PEI - Beckett and I are flying on August 27th and my other two guys are driving. The plan is for them to drive it in one day. We made it back in one day last year and Carson was just perfect, so we are hoping for the same this year. We are going to borrow a DVD player to keep Carson entertained when he gets bored of just looking out the window and listening to music. All 4 of us were going to drive, but if you figure in all the feedings and stops we would have to make with a 6 week old, we thought it would probably take us two days and then that cuts into our vacation time, so we booked mine and Beckett's flight on airmiles and we'll just meet the other half of our family there.

I'm so excited for Carson to see his family, to see the beach again and to experience cottage life!!

4 years and two adorable boys later...

It's our wedding anniversary today!

And here's what we have to show for it :)

It's fine

Apparently the hematoma was expected to get bigger before it got smaller, so it's all good :) He's almost back up to his birth weight so that's nice to know too.

Doctor's....

Headed to the doctor's now, he wants to check out the hematoma on his little noggin. Now I'm wondering if all the extra sleep is a result of it or something? See, this is what happens when it's pouring rain outside so I can't get out and walk, I sit at home and think about all the possibilities...

Jinxing it

I think by just posting about it, I'm going to jinx it, but it seems like so far Beckett is following in his brother's footsteps by being a great sleeper.

It's one good night, one bad night in terms of sleeping.

But last night he only got up ONCE to feed! He slept from 9:30 until 2. He fed from 2 to 3 and then went back to bed till 7:30.

CRAZY! But like I said, I'm most likely jinxing it right now.

It looks to me

Like the bump on Beckett's head is getting bigger - the doctor didn't say anything about keeping an eye on it if it gets bigger. So now I'm going to do the thing that I know will end poorly... I'm going to search the net to see what they say.

Second doctor appointment

Beckett gained the 100 grams the doctor was looking for - he's now 7lbs 12oz. It's hard when you are nursing to know how much your baby is getting, so even though I *thought* he was getting enough until he went on that scale today I really had no idea.

And the cephalohematoma is doing just fine - no further complications or anything.

His rash/whitehead issues are getting better - with the help of his ointment. He still has them, but they are getting fewer and further in between.

Doctor wants to see us again next Wednesday just to make sure he keeps gaining weight. Looking at him you wouldn't think his weight would be an issue!

Already?

I thought I had a good few years left, but apparently not.

Last night I was putting Carson to bed and after we read a book, I asked him for a kiss. And he said "I already kissed you downstairs mommy". I asked if I could have another one and he said "No - you already got one"

I got a brief image of dropping him off at school and him not wanting to kiss me in front of his friends!

Week 1

When Carson was born, I had a rough go.

This time around it's so different. I've only cried once, when he was born, and those were total tears of happiness. I'm happy - happy - happy. I'm not anxious, sad, confused, worried....nursing is going well, I'm not wanting to stay in bed all day - I'm getting lots of stuff done around the house. We've been out for walks, we've gone shopping, heck we've even gone to watch Daddy at the driving range! Jeff's back at work and I'm not counting down the minutes until he gets home at night. Maybe I am cut out for this mommy to a newborn stuff.

And, I had Beckett via c-section and the recovery is so much faster than the first time. I was reading my blog saying how I walked from my mom's house to the bank - about 3 weeks after I had Carson and that had been my first "real" walk. Well, already - look what I've done. I could hardly get out of bed by myself a week after my first c-section. Maybe it's because I exercised my entire pregnancy (or at least until 8 months, my last month wasn't so great - I blame it on the heat!) or maybe just the second time it's easier. Who knows, but whatever it is, I am loving it.

Today we are stranded at home so the windows in my car can get tinted. Which is good, there's a ton of paperwork I have to get around to doing - stuff like that is so HARD to do during the summer, isn't it?

And last night, get this, I SLEPT. I had about 6.5 hours of sleep between 9:30 and 6:30 this morning. For a week old baby, I think that's great!

And I just have to write about how much Carson loves his baby brother. Like LOVES. Every morning, the first thing he asks about is Beckett and he wants to see him. He sits beside me when I'm feeding him. He sits beside the bassinette all the time and brings Beckett his toys (but mommy the baby wants the truck), he was trying to convince me this morning that Beckett needed some juice. Yesterday Beckett and I walked to pick Carson up from care and when we turned into the driveway Carson started yelling to his friends "my baby brother is here, come see him". It's so adorable!

And of course, here are a few pictures: